Show The World What You Got.

Message
Archive
Rss
Theme


8 hours ago | 65,953 notes
8 hours ago | 254,750 notes
chemicaldarkshine: hardestcopy: bijou1986: A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:Hey MomI’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.Love,Your Son.A couple days later he got a response from his mother:Dear Son,I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.When are the two of you coming for dinner?Love,Mom BEST MOM I’m crYING
8 hours ago | 83,447 notes
“HONEY”“WHAT”“WHERE’S MY SPEECH NOTES”“WHAT”“WHERE. ARE. MY. SPEECH. NOTES.”“I UHHHH. ORGANISED THEM.”“WHAT?!”“WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW.”“I NEED THEM”“UH UH DON’T YOU THINK ABOUT PRACTISING THAT SPEECH TONIGHT I’VE BEEN PLANNING THIS DINNER FOR MONTHS”“BUT AMERICA IS IN NEED”“MY STOMACH IS IN NEED OF THAT FANCY DINNER.”“YOU TELL ME WHERE MY SPEECH IS WOMAN THIS IS FOR INTERNATIONAL JUSTICE”“I’M MICHELLE OBAMA. I INVENTED JUSTICE.”
thatfunnyblog: adriofthedead: someone give this dude a medal Funny Stuff you like?

dickfaerie:

adding a period on the end of everything makes it sound sarcastic

lol.

haha.

youre so funny.

youre so hot.

of course i dont hate you.

(via feraligaytor)

8 hours ago | 56,144 notes
I got a review for my massage!!!! #happy&proud